The Truth About Why You’re Stuck in a Crappy Job Overseas - and How to Fix It!
Understanding Emotional Inertia and Stagnation
Let's get real for a moment. You took a leap of faith and decided to cut ties with your family and leave your lifelong friends behind. You took off to a distant land to live the dream of a different lifestyle. Whether to become a digital nomad, a globe-trotter, an expat or to explore the world via the good old sabbatical year. Although you’re supposed to be living the dream, you find yourself struggling to finance your adventure. You’re professionally qualified, and yet all you can get is one menial job after another. You get stuck in this mental masturbation of “I dreamed, planned and expected X, and all I can get is Y. And you soon begin to question every life choice you've ever made. Emotional inertia, my friend, is a silent killer. It's the force that keeps you in that menial jerk-off state, despite the nagging feeling that you’re meant for so much more. This emotional stagnation isn’t just a bad day at work or the longing for a great future that seems farther and farther away by the hour, it’s a crippling burnout that drains the soul out of you. You feel stuck, not because you lack talent or ambition, but because inertia has its grip on you. The worst bit is that you not only have no idea how you got there, but you’re unclear at best on how to snap out of it. It’s time to understand this force and start shifting gears.
Building Momentum and Overcoming Resistance
Alright, so we’ve established that you’re somewhat stuck. Now what? Creating momentum is the secret sauce to breaking free. Small changes create big shifts. Think of it like nudging a boulder. At first, it barely moves, but with consistent effort, it starts to roll and eventually it picks up the pace. Resistance is inevitably expected. An absolute given. Your mind will throw every excuse at you: "It’s too risky," "What if I fail?," “What the chick I’m sleeping with will think of me?”. The one thing you’ve got to understand is that all your logical thinking is nothing more than fear dressed up in carnival costume. You’re resisting the flow of the experience you chose to embark on. To create momentum, all you need is to start with tiny steps, such as updating your resume, networking a bit or taking a course. Each small victory builds momentum, and before you know it, you’re moving towards a job that excites you, not one that makes you feel like you’re going backwards. Remember, life is about small, incremental progress, not overnight success and quantum leaps.
Tackling Fear and Embracing Change
Fear is a crafty devil. It whispers, "Stay where it’s safe," even when “safe” is soul-crushing and life sucking. But here’s the thing: growth doesn’t happen where it’s comfortable. It requires muscle stretching, physical and mental strengthening and breaking through the ceiling over your head and the walls around you. It’s time to make friends with fear, cozy up with the uncomfortable and take some calculated risks. Change is scary, uncertainty can be paralyzing, but the alternative is stagnation. Which is far worse. Ask yourself, what’s the worst case scenario I’m dealing with here? You might stumble and get knocked to your knees? Sure! But you’ll learn the taste of bouncing back up, the smell of personal growth and the sound of resilience and grit. Embrace the uncertainty. Take calculated risks. Apply for that job you think you’re not qualified for. Make your cover-letter look like a hero’s journey story. Start that side hustle while you’re menial-jobing away. Shake things up. Change isn’t the enemy; it’s the basic requirement, the catalyst for the life you deserve.
Regaining Hope and Control
I know that feeling helpless and hopeless sucks. Trust me, I’ve been there far longer than I’m ready to admit. It’s rather easy to think that we’re doomed and nothing will ever change. But that’s just your Feeling Brain playing tricks on you. You have more control than you realize. You have more to give and contribute that you’re allowing yourself to do. So, here’s the thing: start by setting small, achievable goals. No “making $100k in by end of year” or “my next job will be at an upper management level” type of thing. Nope! But rather, things like “I’ll make 5 new Linkedin connections this week” or “I’m going to check the local Chamber of Commerce schedule for this month in the next few days”. Each of these small goals you hit, no matter how tiny, is a win. Achieving them will build your confidence and chip away at the hopelessness you once took for granted. Take back control. Focus on what you can change, even if it’s just your attitude. Choose to be the happiest and most productive housekeeper you’ve ever seen. Hope isn’t a passive wish, it’s an active pursuit. A lifestyle decision you can make. By taking small steps, you regain control and will soon start to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Navigating Internal and External Conflicts
Living overseas and feeling stuck in a meaningless job that’s far beneath your professional qualifications and experience is the perfect recipe for internal and external conflict. You’re witnessing a gap so wide between your own expectations, your life’s blueprint if you will, and the sickening, gut-punching reality around you. Tension builds, exhaustion sprouts and burnout creeps in. The key here is to understand these emotional dynamics. The patterns which trigger it in the first place. What’s driving the conflict? Is it the job, the culture, or your own fears? If you think it’s something other than your own fears, I’ll have to break it down to you, as long as you think this way, there’s little to no hope in the horizon. You’ve got to take responsibility and address these things head-on. Communicate your needs and boundaries at work. Seek support from other expats who “get it”. The outside world you see, hear and feel is a copycat of the world you see, hear and feel inside. Internal conflicts often mirror external ones, they extend out of your own body to manifest in the world so you can more easily perceive them as real. When resolving the internal conflicts, you’ll most likely find the external becomes easier to manage. Balance the dynamics, and you’ll find your path to peace.
Reinforcing Identity and Self-Worth
Your job doesn’t define you, but let’s be honest, it sure feels like it sometimes. Have you ever noticed that a lot of people get sort of confused and sad once they retire? This is the phenomenon I’m talking about here. People’s identity and self-worth are so tied to their job and careers that once they go out of business, they lose the main element which gives meaning to their lives. And the same happens when qualified professionals go live overseas. The most affordable way to stop dipping from your life’s savings is to get a low-level job that a trained monkey could perform, just so you can pay for groceries and rent. Menial jobs can erode your sense of identity and self-worth. You start to believe you’re worth less because you’re doing less meaningful work. You feel your job is literally beneath you. It’s a clear disconnect between your life’s blueprint and the reality you’re living. But let me tell you something: THIS IS BULLSHIT. Your value isn’t tied to your job title. Reinforce your identity by aligning your work with your values. What makes you tick? What are you passionate about? Seek opportunities that resonate with who you are, not just what you can get paid to do. I once had a client who were in a pretty bad emotional shape because she was a successful event planner and she found herself on an eighteen month office-cleaning spree. Until we came up with a way for her to express her creativity and organization skills. Every day she went to clean the office spaces, she would rearrange the pot plants and artwork. Nobody ever noticed or gave a shit that she was shuffling stuff around, she found an outlet to be creative and to be noticed as the cleaner who thought outside the box and made the space clean and dynamic. Such minor thing allowed her to rebuild her confidence and self-worth to aim higher. Remember, you’re more than your job. Build an identity that stands strong, regardless of where you clock in or what you clock in to.
Adapting to Cultural Differences and Overcoming Isolation
I know that being an expat can be isolating. I’ve been swimming in this sea for over a decade. I know that experiencing a different culture, with different norms can sometimes feel like exploring a different planet. Cultural adaptation is tough, but it’s crucial. Embrace the new, but don’t lose yourself. People will tell you hurtful things. People will mock your accent. That’s a given. So you’d better have a plan to deal with these kinds of things in such a way that doesn’t create a barrier between you and the people you’re trying to get along with. People are afraid of the different. Outsiders coming into their communities and shortening the number of opportunities available. You’re better than that. Your story is the way to build a bridge to close the gap. You struggle, they struggle. Find a way to connect with the pain and elevate the perceived hopefulness you can bring to the community. The community must be better off because it has you in it. Finding a community of like-minded people who understand your struggles may be a good strategy. Isolation can magnify emotional turmoil. Break it by connecting with others. Join groups, attend events, or even start your own meet-ups. Building a supportive network isn’t just about socializing. It’s about creating a lifeline for others. When you’re a force for good in your community, you begin to live with purpose. Resilience isn’t just surviving; it’s thriving despite the odds. Together, you can turn you isolation into a vibrant, supportive community. Share your journey, seek guidance, and remember – you’re not alone.
