Why Your High-Paying Job Overseas Feels Like an Impossible Dream? The Harsh Truth: Self-Control Isn’t the Answer for Expats

Ever feel like you're stuck in a hamster wheel, running as fast as you can but getting nowhere? That's the illusion of self-control for you. We've all been told that if we just grit our teeth and push harder, we'll break through. But for those of us living overseas, stuck in menial jobs despite our qualifications, this notion can be downright toxic.

We love to think we can control everything, that our willpower is some kind of magic wand. But the truth is, most of the time, we're just flailing in the dark. For expats, this illusion becomes a cruel joke, amplifying every struggle and setback.

Imagine this: you've got a degree, years of experience, and a resume that should be turning heads. But instead of climbing the corporate ladder, you're stuck in a job that barely makes use of your skills. It's maddening. And the worst part? The illusion of self-control makes you think it's your fault. Maybe you just aren't trying hard enough, right? Wrong! Sometimes, the system is rigged against you, and no amount of self-control can change that.

Living overseas can be exciting, but it's also expensive. When you're stuck in a low-paying job, every financial hiccup feels like a mountain. You're constantly juggling bills, making sacrifices, and wondering why you can't seem to get ahead. The illusion of self-control whispers that you just need to manage your money better. But let's be real – when you're earning peanuts, no amount of budgeting wizardry is going to make a difference.

One of the biggest fears for any professional is stagnation. When you're in a menial job, your skills start to rust. The longer you're out of your field, the harder it is to get back in. And self-control? It tells you to hustle harder, network more, take on extra projects. But what if there are no opportunities to grow? What if the only projects available are the ones that don't advance your career? It's a vicious cycle.

The frustration of being underemployed can take a serious toll on your mental health. You start to feel like a failure, questioning your worth and your decisions. The constant stress can lead to anxiety and depression. The illusion of self-control makes it worse, as you blame yourself for not being able to change your situation. It's a heavy burden to carry.

Building a professional network is tough when you're working in a job unrelated to your field. You're isolated, cut off from the people who could help you advance. And in a foreign country, cultural differences and language barriers only add to the challenge. Self-control tells you to network more, but how? When you're already stretched thin, the idea of attending networking events or cold-emailing strangers can feel impossible.

Menial jobs can be physically and mentally draining. By the time you clock out, you're exhausted. The thought of job hunting or upskilling after a long day is daunting. The illusion of self-control nags at you, suggesting that you're just not managing your time well. But the truth is, you're human. You need rest and downtime, and pushing yourself to the brink of burnout isn't the answer.

Then there are the legal hurdles. Work permits and visas can be a bureaucratic nightmare. Each country's rules are different, and navigating them can feel like an endless maze. The illusion of self-control suggests that if you just fill out the right forms, everything will fall into place. But in reality, the system is often stacked against you, with arbitrary rules and long waiting times.

Overcoming the Illusion and Finding Real Solutions

So, how do we break free from this illusion? First, we need to recognize that self-control isn't the magic fix we've been led to believe. It's okay to acknowledge that some things are beyond our control. Instead, let's focus on practical steps that can make a difference.

Upskilling

Consider online courses or career coaching programs to clarify your goals long-term goals, plan the route you’ll take and boost your confidence and skills. The greatest thing about online programs is that they usually offer flexible options that you can fit into your schedule rather than juggling your way through it.

Networking

Build your network strategically. Connect with professionals in your field through LinkedIn, attend local meetups, and don't underestimate the power of informational interviews. Check local Chambers of Commerce events that you can attend to and be in the same environment as other professionals wanting to discuss business. And another idea is find where companies in your industries are located and go hang out at pubs where the people who work there could go for happy hour drinks. This is a casual setting to meet people.

Job Search Strategies

Tailor your resume for each application, highlighting relevant skills and experiences. Use job boards specific to your industry and don't shy away from reaching out to recruiters. Just make sure your resume doesn’t read like a sob story of the hardest worker who needs that job and is therefore willing to do anything to get it. Show how your skills and experience can help the company’s solve their problems and grow.

Mental Health

Take care of your mental health. Seek support from friends, family, or a professional. Remember, it's okay to ask for help. Asking for help is the best way to allow people to feel significant. Everybody loves to feel important and validated. So, don’t rob them the opportunity to help you achieve your goals.

The illusion of self-control can make us feel like failures when we're not. We’re courageous fucks who went overseas knowing that we can make it. Trusting that we’re good enough to achieve whatever we set out to do. But recognizing this illusion is the first step towards finding real, effective solutions. You're not alone in this struggle, and there are concrete steps you can take to improve your situation. Share your experiences, engage with the community, and let's support each other in breaking free from the illusion and finding hope and success abroad.

Remember, it's not about having iron-clad self-control. It's about acknowledging the challenges, letting go of unrealistic expectations, and taking practical steps to create the life you want.